A s t r o l o g i c a l
J
o k e s
The (Humorous) Sun
Signs
Unfortunately
I am unable to credit the author of these jokes, as they were sent to
me by email with no indication of who wrote them.
How many Arians does it take to change a
lightbulb?
Just the one. You want to make something of it, eh?
None. Arians aren't afraid of the dark.
Only one, but it takes a lot of light bulbs.(*smash* *pop*
*crash*)
How many Taurus's does it take to
change a lightbulb?
One. But only if they can celebrate afterwards with a
ten-course meal
and some great sex.
None; Taurus's never want to change anything.
One, but just *try* to convince them that the burned out
bulb is useless
and should be thrown away.
How many Gemini's does it take to
change a lightbulb?
Two. Plus a portable phone, an Internet link, and a copy of
the "Bluffer's
Guide to Changing Lightbulbs."
Two (of course) but it will take all week, and when they're
done the
lightbulb will do your homework, speak French, and shine any color you
want
it to.
Two, but they never change it - they just keep arguing about
who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done.
How many Cancerians does it take to
change a lightbulb?
Just one, but it takes a therapist three years to help them
through the
grieving process.
Just one, and they'll use a non-disposable diaper, too!
None: A Cancerian would worry himself to death with the
problem.
How many Leos does it take to change a
lightbulb?
Leos don't change lightbulbs, although sometimes their
agents get a Virgo
in to do it for them while they're out.
One: He holds the bulb and the world spins around him.
None: Leos are so enthusiastic they carry their own light.
How many Virgo's does it take to change
a lightbulb?
Virgo's don't have time to change their own lightbulbs,
they're too busy changing them for everyone else.
Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.
Let's see, one to spot the bulb, one to record the time the
bulb burned
out and the date it was purchased, one to decide who's fault it is that
the bulb burned out and ask why that brand was chosen in the first
place, ten
to decide to remodel the house as long as they're changing the bulb....
How many Libra's does it take to change
a lightbulb?
Er, two, or, maybe one. No--on second thought, make that
two. Is that
OK with you?
Why change the bulb? Isn't it more romantic in the dark?
Well gee, I don't know really. I guess it depends on the
bulb, and where
it burned out. It might perhaps just take one if it's just an ordinary
bulb,
or maybe two if the person doesn't know where to find a new bulb,
or....
How many Scorpio's does it take to
change a lightbulb?
None -- they'd rather sit in the dark.
Why do you want to know? Are you a cop?
That information is strictly secret and only shared with the
inner members
of the hierarchical order.
How many Sagittarians does it take to
change a lightbulb?
Look, ask me when I get back from India, OK?
The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got out whole
lives ahead
of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out lightbulb?
A whole bunch: You can only keep them in the room long
enough for each
of them to give the bulb a quarter turn.
How many Capricorn's does it take to
change a lightbulb?
None. Capricorn's can't afford new lightbulbs -- unless
they're a legitimate business expense.
I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
None. Why should I bother? It's probably just going to burn
out again
tomorrow anyway.
How many Aquarians does it take to
change a lightbulb?
Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so....
A hundred, but they'll all be competing to be the one to
change the bulb
and bring light into the world.
Like, why don't you just get out of my face and stop asking
me to do
all your work for you? I'm, like, really totally sick and tired of you
asking
me questions.
How many Pisceans does it take to
change a lightbulb?
What lightbulb?
Huh? The light's out?
None: They concern themselves with Inner Light.
A
Leunig view on astrology...
